Today was worldwide pregnancy & infant loss remembrance day. At 7pm we lit a candle for one hour (actually longer - I still can't bring myself to blow it out...) to remember the baby we miscarried almost 3 years ago. I bought the little figurine shortly after, so that we'll always have a visual reminder of our missing family member. The Angel's name is Always, I will remember...
Showing posts with label baby ache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby ache. Show all posts
Thursday, October 15, 2009
October 15th
Today was worldwide pregnancy & infant loss remembrance day. At 7pm we lit a candle for one hour (actually longer - I still can't bring myself to blow it out...) to remember the baby we miscarried almost 3 years ago. I bought the little figurine shortly after, so that we'll always have a visual reminder of our missing family member. The Angel's name is Always, I will remember...
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day!
My emotions are running over today. Could be due to the fact that I'm 30 weeks pregnant and just plain emotional all the time. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I've been given to be a Mother many times over. I'm so grateful for my sweet 4 year old little boy and is amazing personality. He was too terrified to go up and sing with the primary kids this year, so he chose to sit by my side and cuddle instead. I cried happy tears. I'm grateful for the short amount of time I was allowed to cary my angel baby in 2006. S/he would have been 1 year old tomorrow. What a wonderful day for me to be able to think about my sweet angel every year - a child that I hope to have the opportunity to raise in heaven. I cried tears of longing. I'm grateful for the sweet child that I'm currently carrying and helping to grow. I am so excited for her arrival in a few months and can't wait to be able to hold her in my arms. I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to put her down. For her my tears are happy again. I am extremely grateful for such a wonderful husband who loves and supports me in all that I do. He works so hard for our family and always knows how to make me happy. My tears this time are ones of love and grattitude. And I am extremely grateful to my Father in Heaven. For his love for me and for all that he has seen fit to bless me with. This is indeed a very happy Mother's Day. I'm sure that the tears are not over - I have many things to be grateful for.
Friday, October 26, 2007
While I'm waiting...
Bob is at the airport right now picking up 2 of his brothers who are coming into town for a mini family reunion tomorrow. Should be great fun. While I'm waiting, I thought I'd catch the blog up on recent activities.
Bob's dad - Bob - is in town this week too, hence the family reunion. We got to spend Tuesday and Wednesday with him this week. Lots of fun for Braden to be around his Grandpa that he doesn't get to see often. He took us to Gowen Field on Wednesday to see some old airplanes, helicopters and tanks on display. He'd never taken my Bob there before, so it was pretty cool for us to be able to see where he used to spend one weekend a month, and 3 weeks a year. Of course, now he spends time on a base in New York somewhere close to where he lives now.
I'm taking some meds (Metformin) to treat my PCOS and help my body figure out how to function again and eventually get pregnant again. I've been on it for just over 2 months now, so hopefully it's starting to get my body straightened out. It makes me a bit sick though. When I first started taking it, I was sick for 3 days before I got used to it, then the Dr. upped my dose about 3 weeks ago and I was sick for over a week. Now I think I'm mostly used to it, but some days are still yucky. I have an appointment next month to go in and see the Dr and hopefully get some other meds going to speed this process along. We'll see.
Bob's dad - Bob - is in town this week too, hence the family reunion. We got to spend Tuesday and Wednesday with him this week. Lots of fun for Braden to be around his Grandpa that he doesn't get to see often. He took us to Gowen Field on Wednesday to see some old airplanes, helicopters and tanks on display. He'd never taken my Bob there before, so it was pretty cool for us to be able to see where he used to spend one weekend a month, and 3 weeks a year. Of course, now he spends time on a base in New York somewhere close to where he lives now.
I'm taking some meds (Metformin) to treat my PCOS and help my body figure out how to function again and eventually get pregnant again. I've been on it for just over 2 months now, so hopefully it's starting to get my body straightened out. It makes me a bit sick though. When I first started taking it, I was sick for 3 days before I got used to it, then the Dr. upped my dose about 3 weeks ago and I was sick for over a week. Now I think I'm mostly used to it, but some days are still yucky. I have an appointment next month to go in and see the Dr and hopefully get some other meds going to speed this process along. We'll see.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sarita
Liz called me last week with the news that a good friend from high school had contacted her and is engaged. So we made plans to get together. Last night Bob, Braden and I went to Liz and Joe's house at 7 and about 10 minutes later our friend, Sarita, and her new fiancee, Eric, arrived. Sarita will be the last of our little group of friends from high school to be getting married. I am soo happy for her. She has done a lot with her life so far (bachelor's degree, mission to Brazil, and master's degree!) and is at a great spot in her life to have found this guy who seems to be really good for her. He's a bit younger and hasn't started going to college yet, but she's getting him motivated and will be able to support him while he attends BSU. They have set their wedding date for the 18th of August. Very exciting!
My favorite part of the evening was, of course, holding Liz's baby almost the entire time. She is such a sweet baby and always seems to save her sweetest smiles just for me when I need them the most.
My favorite part of the evening was, of course, holding Liz's baby almost the entire time. She is such a sweet baby and always seems to save her sweetest smiles just for me when I need them the most.
Friday, May 11, 2007
It was supposed to be today...
Today was my due date. Today, I was supposed to be having a baby.
Today, I'm not. Today, my arms ache to hold the baby I lost.
Today, I'm not. Today, my arms ache to hold the baby I lost.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Nuttin much
Not a lot exciting going on here. Braden and I just got over little colds a few days ago and now he's battling another one. Yea. Gotta get rid of those sickies somehow.
I've been kinda down in the dumps and frustrated about not being pregnant. Big suprise, right?! I would be 23 weeks along by now. We would have found out the sex of the baby, I'd be feeling it move, I'd be showing a bit and I'd be happy that our little family is growing. But I'm not, we're not, it's not...
I've been kinda down in the dumps and frustrated about not being pregnant. Big suprise, right?! I would be 23 weeks along by now. We would have found out the sex of the baby, I'd be feeling it move, I'd be showing a bit and I'd be happy that our little family is growing. But I'm not, we're not, it's not...
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
All is well
Went to the Dr today for my 4 week checkup. She said that I'm completely back to normal and that we can try to get pregnant again in 2 months. Sounds good to me - hope it works...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Normal
the pathology results were normal - nothing wrong. It just wasn't meant to be.
Watching CARS right now. Pretty cute, but don't think Braden is as into it as we thought he'd be.
Watching CARS right now. Pretty cute, but don't think Braden is as into it as we thought he'd be.
Cars
was released today! Off to Walmart to pick it up. Braden is soo excited.
Then to the Dr. to find out the results of the pathology test they did last week... And to get something to cure my never ending headaches.
Then to the Dr. to find out the results of the pathology test they did last week... And to get something to cure my never ending headaches.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Nope - it was Wednesday...
I was wrong - I must have just started the process on Monday.
Wednesday at about 5pm, I stepped outside to grab the mail and a lot of fluid gushed out of me. I ran into the bathroom. What little water I must have had, had broken. Then I started bleeding, a LOT. Crying I called mom, who offered to call the nurse in our ward and ask her what I should do/expect next. Mom called back a minute later telling me that the nurse said that I should get up and head to the hospital ASAP and that she was on her way over to watch the kids (I still had Koby and Kasen then). Luckily Bob was home and taking care of them while I was in the bathroom. I called Bob into the bathroom to tell him what mom said, he was frustrated. He didn't want to go to the hospital - I didn't either. He stepped out to do something and a minute or two later I called him back in because I was feeling light headed. He came in and grabbed my head just as I passed out. I woke up 3-4 minutes later to hear him talking to mom on the phone, telling her that he had just called 911 because I had passed out and that he could already hear them coming. A few moments later a firetruck and ambulance arrived and they came into the house. The noise scared Braden and he ran into the bathroom crying. Bob stepped out with Braden so that the paramedics could help me up and onto the bed they brought in the house. They asked me a lot of questions, called the hospital and determined that they needed to take me to the emergency room. Just as they loaded me into the ambulance, mom drove up to watch the kids and Bob followed in the car.
Most of the details at the hospital are still a blurr as I was soo weak from the loss of blood. Dad showed up soon after I got there and Mom came about 20 minutes later (Michelle came to pick up the boys and took Braden with her - Dad went back and got him later). I passed out again after the ER doc did his examination and they called an OB to come in and look at me and scheduled a D&C.
The OB came in and did his examination and was able to pull out most of the placenta and asked me if I'd like him to just finish up the D&C now instead of going up to surgery later. I agreed - it hurt, but soon after they gave me some pain meds and they worked quickly. The pain meds made me queasy and I threw up 3 times at the hospital and once when we got home that night at about 11pm. They gave me a lot of other medicine to help my uterus contract and to help stop the bleeding. And also some antibiotics just incase I were to develop an infection down there.
Bob stayed home from work on Thursday to stay with me and to take me to my follow up appointment with the OB from the hospital. The follow up visit was short and the OB said that things seemed to be going good and that he wanted me to come back in next week for another follow up visit and so that he could tell us the pathology report results from the d&c.
I'm feeling a lot better now, not much bleeding. I still am very weak and have a horrible headache, but mom thinks it's probably because my body still doesn't have all the blood it needs back yet. If I still have the headache by Tuesday when my next appointment is, then we'll talk to the Dr about it to see if there is anything we can do. In the mean time, I am drinking tons and tons of water and taking lots of Ibuprofen and my antibiotics. And resting a lot.
Wednesday at about 5pm, I stepped outside to grab the mail and a lot of fluid gushed out of me. I ran into the bathroom. What little water I must have had, had broken. Then I started bleeding, a LOT. Crying I called mom, who offered to call the nurse in our ward and ask her what I should do/expect next. Mom called back a minute later telling me that the nurse said that I should get up and head to the hospital ASAP and that she was on her way over to watch the kids (I still had Koby and Kasen then). Luckily Bob was home and taking care of them while I was in the bathroom. I called Bob into the bathroom to tell him what mom said, he was frustrated. He didn't want to go to the hospital - I didn't either. He stepped out to do something and a minute or two later I called him back in because I was feeling light headed. He came in and grabbed my head just as I passed out. I woke up 3-4 minutes later to hear him talking to mom on the phone, telling her that he had just called 911 because I had passed out and that he could already hear them coming. A few moments later a firetruck and ambulance arrived and they came into the house. The noise scared Braden and he ran into the bathroom crying. Bob stepped out with Braden so that the paramedics could help me up and onto the bed they brought in the house. They asked me a lot of questions, called the hospital and determined that they needed to take me to the emergency room. Just as they loaded me into the ambulance, mom drove up to watch the kids and Bob followed in the car.
Most of the details at the hospital are still a blurr as I was soo weak from the loss of blood. Dad showed up soon after I got there and Mom came about 20 minutes later (Michelle came to pick up the boys and took Braden with her - Dad went back and got him later). I passed out again after the ER doc did his examination and they called an OB to come in and look at me and scheduled a D&C.
The OB came in and did his examination and was able to pull out most of the placenta and asked me if I'd like him to just finish up the D&C now instead of going up to surgery later. I agreed - it hurt, but soon after they gave me some pain meds and they worked quickly. The pain meds made me queasy and I threw up 3 times at the hospital and once when we got home that night at about 11pm. They gave me a lot of other medicine to help my uterus contract and to help stop the bleeding. And also some antibiotics just incase I were to develop an infection down there.
Bob stayed home from work on Thursday to stay with me and to take me to my follow up appointment with the OB from the hospital. The follow up visit was short and the OB said that things seemed to be going good and that he wanted me to come back in next week for another follow up visit and so that he could tell us the pathology report results from the d&c.
I'm feeling a lot better now, not much bleeding. I still am very weak and have a horrible headache, but mom thinks it's probably because my body still doesn't have all the blood it needs back yet. If I still have the headache by Tuesday when my next appointment is, then we'll talk to the Dr about it to see if there is anything we can do. In the mean time, I am drinking tons and tons of water and taking lots of Ibuprofen and my antibiotics. And resting a lot.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
It happened...
on Monday. Had a blood test yesterday, Tuesday, just to make sure. Will get the results today sometime hopefully.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Not Good News
So Bob and I went to the Dr on Monday, she started the ultrasound and immediately told us that the baby was not as big as it should have been. Then a few seconds later told us that there was no heartbeat. And then that I will be having a miscarriage. She checked my ovaries and told us that they were in good shape and ended the ultrasound, told me she was sorry and that she wanted to run some tests - and left the room. I got dressed and cried on Bob's shoulder until the nurse came in to take me to get blood drawn. Then they had me go see Heidi to make an appointment for another blood draw and I broke down crying again. She let Bob and I sit in the Dr's office for a while and then we left.
I went back to the Drs office this morning to get my blood drawn again. Heidi called me today at 4:45pm to tell me that the level of my pregnancy hormone was definitely going down and that I will be having a miscarriage sometime soon.
I've cried a lot and I'm sure I still will especially as the miscarriage is happening.
I'm just going to concentrate on keeping busy in the mean time and work on a way to come up with something that will be a visual reminder of this missing part of our family.
I went back to the Drs office this morning to get my blood drawn again. Heidi called me today at 4:45pm to tell me that the level of my pregnancy hormone was definitely going down and that I will be having a miscarriage sometime soon.
I've cried a lot and I'm sure I still will especially as the miscarriage is happening.
I'm just going to concentrate on keeping busy in the mean time and work on a way to come up with something that will be a visual reminder of this missing part of our family.
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